Not everyone has 4 roommates and can use their parent’s phone plan.

Meet David Owens, he’s an average 25-year-old, living and working in Dallas, Texas. Like most people his age, he has a fair amount of college debt after acquiring a degree he was told would be necessary to find a good job.

His degree is in Marketing, which after joining the…


From: CAROL — HR DEPT

To: OFFICE — EVERYONE

Subject: Office Bathroom Policies

Well, gang, we have to have a talk about office potty time. I hate to do this, but, frankly, I think some of you need more rules and structure in there. This isn’t coming from HR. It’s…


LISTEN TO ME!

As your Final Girl, the sole survivor of every horror movie, I think it’s time we talked about how ludicrous it is that you never believe me. You’re always telling me I’m wrong, or crazy, or worried about nothing. …


Finally, some tips that work.

Having an active social life can be difficult when you’re an introvert who prefers to be home alone because you don’t want people to witness you knocking things over as you try to control your wild hands. It’s just so discouraging when you try to socialize with someone new, but…


(a Goop-brand Luxury Covid Bunker)

Autumn is upon us, and usually, that would mean it’s time for my seasonal yoni steam. However, as we are still living through a pandemic (likely caused by food toxins and angry parasites), I will have to make a DIY steam. Luckily the Rhombus has…


Or Books I Threw Across the Room

Ah, classic literature. The height of story-telling, what all writers aspire to create. AKA required reading from high school that you half-heartedly skimmed. Is there anything better? Turns out, yes.

Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

Legacy: Frankenstein is one of the most recommended books on Five Books, with…


Hey it’s me, Chad

Helen,

You remember me, I used to hang out with your brother. He gave me your email because he owed me a favor for saving him from an ugly chick. Remember that time you came into the basement when we were playing Sonic and I said you’d be a lot…


Tips to Perk Yourself Up at Home

When you woke up this morning, you thought it was Tuesday, but now you’re pretty sure it’s Friday. You’re so exhausted that you can’t manage the smallest tasks, even though you haven’t been doing anything. …


Could a depressed person do THIS?

Sometimes when you’re depressed it’s very important for everyone in your life to think you are fine. Including yourself. That’s where this list will come in super handy!

Borne from years of very personal experience, here are my tips and tricks for pretending everything…


A Binary Love Story

Chris was unlike anyone I had ever met; smart, charming, incredibly thoughtful. When we first met, I was still emotionally unavailable from a bad breakup. I held him at a distance. My defenses were up, and my heart was still raw. But somehow, he broke through.

Tab Parker

An alum of Chicago’s The Second City, iO, & other comedy schools. Began writing as a kid, when I was 10 I won an award for an embarrassing poem about dolphins.

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