Tab Parker – Medium

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Tab Parker
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The Post-Grad Survival Guide

The Budget Breakdown of a 25-Year-Old Who Makes $40,000 a Year and Lives Realistically

Not everyone has 4 roommates and can use their parent's phone plan

4 min readAug 21, 2020

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The Budget Breakdown of a 25-Year-Old Who Makes $40,000 a Year and Lives Realistically

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Tab Parker
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Slackjaw

Memo: New Bathroom Policies Since No One Here Can Figure Out How To Use The Goshdarn Commode

This is the camel’s straw, people

3 min readOct 18, 2021

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Memo: New Bathroom Policies Since No One Here Can Figure Out How To Use The Goshdarn Commode

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Tab Parker
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The Belladonna Comedy

As The Final Girl of Multiple Horror Franchises, I Really Need You to Start Believing Me When I Say…

LISTEN TO ME!

4 min readOct 29, 2020

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As The Final Girl of Multiple Horror Franchises, I Really Need You to Start Believing Me When I Say…

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Tab Parker
in
Slackjaw

How To Be Better At Socializing When You’re An Introvert With Constantly Flailing Hands

Finally, some tips that work.

2 min readOct 25, 2020

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How To Be Better At Socializing When You’re An Introvert With Constantly Flailing Hands

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Tab Parker
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The Haven

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Newsletter as Written from the Immersed Earth Rhombus of Zen

(a Goop-brand Luxury Covid Bunker)

3 min readSep 24, 2020

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Newsletter as Written from the Immersed Earth Rhombus of Zen

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Tab Parker
in
The Haven

Angry Reviews of Classic Literature

Or Books I Threw Across the Room

4 min readSep 11, 2020

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Angry Reviews of Classic Literature

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Tab Parker
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The Haven

Cover Letter from Your Older Brother’s High School Weed Dealer

Hey it’s me, Chad

2 min readSep 9, 2020

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Cover Letter from Your Older Brother’s High School Weed Dealer

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Tab Parker
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The Haven

Life Hacks for the Quaran-tired

Tips to Perk Yourself Up at Home

2 min readSep 1, 2020

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Life Hacks for the Quaran-tired

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Tab Parker

Clever Ways to Hide Your Crushing Depression

Could a depressed person do THIS?

3 min readAug 31, 2020

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Clever Ways to Hide Your Crushing Depression

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Tab Parker
in
The Haven

I Thought He Was My Soulmate But He Turned Out To Be A Robot

A Binary Love Story

4 min readAug 28, 2020

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I Thought He Was My Soulmate But He Turned Out To Be A Robot

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Tab Parker

Tab Parker

An alum of Chicago’s The Second City, iO, & other comedy schools. Began writing as a kid, when I was 10 I won an award for an embarrassing poem about dolphins.

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